Low Self-Esteem at Crisis Levels for Girls

A new study indicates an alarming number of girls and teens have low self-esteem, which in turn results in destructive behaviors. According to the study's findings, the key to reversing the trend has to do with parents and other adult role-models providing consistent communication, support and encouragement to the girls in their lives.

Self-esteem has become a national crisis in this country. The majority of girls (seven in ten) feel they do not measure up in some way including their looks, performance in school and relationships. Most disturbing is that girls with low self-esteem are engaging in harmful and destructive behavior that can leave a lasting imprint on their lives. These new findings come from Real Girls, Real Pressure: A National Report on the State of Self-Esteem, conducted with girls between eight and 17 and commissioned by the Dove Self-Esteem Fund.

Destructive Behaviors

An alarming number of girls are turning to destructive action when feeling insecure, and girls with low self-esteem are three times more likely to participate in dangerous behaviors during these times.

--  75 percent of girls with low self-esteem reported engaging in negative and potentially harmful activities, such as disordered eating, cutting, bullying, smoking or drinking, when feeling badly about themselves -- compared with 25 percent of girls with high self-esteem.

--  61 percent of teen girls with low self-esteem admit to talking badly about themselves. (Compared to 15 percent of girls with high self-esteem.)

--  25 percent of teen girls with low self-esteem resort to injuring themselves on purpose or cutting when feeling badly about themselves. (Compared to 4 percent of girls with high self-esteem.)

--  25 percent of teen girls with low self-esteem practice disordered eating, such as starving themselves, refusing to eat, or over-eating and throwing up, when feeling badly about themselves.(Compared to 7 percent of girls with high self-esteem.)

"Low self-esteem among girls and young women has reached a crisis level," said Dr. Ann Kearney-Cooke, Ph.D., a psychologist and self-esteem expert who collaborated on Real Girls, Real Pressure. "The new report from Dove confirms the importance of healthy self-esteem and the dangerous consequences that can arise when hang-ups about looks, academics and popularity erode a girl's sense of self-worth and self-acceptance."

Girls are also craving better communication with adult figures as they struggle with challenges in their lives. The top wish among girls is for their parents to communicate better with them, including more frequent and more open conversations, as well as discussions about what is happening in her life. However, as girls enter their teenage years there is a significant loss of trust and communication with adults, particularly when they are feeling badly about themselves.

"We cannot underestimate just how vital the words and actions of parents are in fostering positive self-esteem in girls. However, it can be challenging because adolescence is not typically a time when girls are reaching out to their parents and speaking candidly," said self-esteem expert Jess Weiner, a best-selling author and the Global Ambassador for the Dove Self-Esteem Fund. "The good news is that if parents and other role models are willing to create a steady conversation of encouragement, honesty and openness it can definitely help girls gain confidence and reach their full potential."

Source: PRNewswire
http://www.prnewswire.com/cgi-bin/stories.pl?ACCT=104&STORY=/www/story/10-07-2008/0004899068&EDATE=

Comments

[I am here]

I am shocked that people had to be told from a study that girls struggle with self esteem...Come on; it is a joke. Girls are raised being told they are cute. They grow up with unrealistic expectations, and what about those stupid Disney Fairytales.

[In the real world]

I work with girls 3 - 18 everyday and once they hit grade three or four their self esteem falls dramaticaly. I teach dance and see huge issues with body image. They get plenty of flattery, but few relationships of substance. It's really sad.

[Sherry]

And after all these years of trying to teach self-esteem with very little success (or maybe not at all), no one seems to understand that low self-esteem is really just egotism in a negative form. "I'm not good enough," "I'm not pretty enough," "I'm not smart enough," etc. It may be in the negative, but it's all about self. In fact, it's a hyper-focus on self, &, not surprisingly (since no one is perfect), girls find themselves not measuring up to their ideals of perfection. What we all need is a Biblical view of self--Christ's humility. When the focus comes off of one's self & onto God & serving others, it's surprising--almost shocking--how one's self-esteem finds its proper level. Jesus said, "Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle, and you will find rest for your souls." (Mt. 11:29)

I struggled with this issue for many years until I realized that so-called low self-esteem is just the flip side of egotism. Both totally focus on self. Both hold self in a higher position than God. Change the focus to God & quit being so consumed by self, whether it's egotistical or deprecatory. Once a person focuses on God, he can be used by God. And NOTHING props up one's self-esteem better than knowing that one has done something that counts for eternity.

As you can see, only Christianity can offer these girls what they need. And home schooling can give these kids the respite from peer pressure they need to recover from all the assaults on their egos & give them the space to get balanced.

[Linda]

Is the concept of self-esteem found in God's Word? I thought the Christian life was all about dying to self so that the life of Christ could be manisfested in us. It is true that girls suffer from an unrealistic body image- another of the world's focus issues that we have bought into at the expense of a healthy Christ-centered life.

[Amy]

I'm surprised that this article doesn't mention participation in sexual activity of teen girls that have a low self-esteem. I have recently been made aware that there are many girls within our very conservative church that are sexually active to some extent or another. As I look at these girls, it dawns on me that their fathers are either absent, very busy with work, or the girls just do not display much confidence. Just thought I would point this out.

[Cindy]

I see young girls every day that have nothing but negative comments when asked to describe themselves. I think as adult women it is our responsibility to reinforce their value and their worth in God's kingdom. I make sure to bring out my bible and show them Psalm 139, I ask them to read the passage where it states that "I am fearfully and wonderfully made in God's image". I too was a teen with extreme low self esteem. I was anorexic and felt I did not deserve to live. Having grown up not ever being hugged or told I love you without the word "but" following those three important words was bad enough. Then attach nicknames on me by family members and friends to the likes of ugly duckling, moose, clumsy, witchipoo, harry the harry ape, dumbo, on and on the scars ran so deep. But the one person that kept telling me how beautiful I was inside and out was a young mother of 2 boys. I baby sat for her. She was and is my saving grace. She ministered to my heart constantly. Today I hope I can touch the heart of another young teen girl with the message that God loves her and her value and worth are enormous in God's plan for her life. If we can remind these young ladies to live in the spiritual world and not the secular world then I know God will lead them through this storm of low self esteem. My daughter of 16 is constantly ministering to the hearts of the broken hearted. Both boys and girls. God's word is a miraculous prescription for these young souls. I know I have said alot, but having come through it, I can say that we all must have a positive comment to lead these young women to where God wants them to be in their lives.

I also feel if these young ladies are placed in our lives and we turn away from their pain as they are reaching out for some validation then we will be standing before Christ and have to answer to Him as to why we did not minister to the broken hearted.

I will continue to bible studies for young teens in our home and I will continue to reach out to the broken hearted. I openly give hugs and reinforce God's love through bible studies such as "True Love Waits". Anyone can do this and anyone with their heart in the right place can be used by God to minister.

[Itzayana]

Hey gals!!! My name is Itzayana, Itza for short, I am 15 years old and I am asking for your help. I have been working on a project to help all those girls who suffer everyday because of low self-esteem caused by body image in my high school. I have had problems with my body image since I can remember. Life for me has been hard, I’m always putting up with insults, teasing, and other horrible things and I want to put a stop to that not only for me but for all those girls who are tired of this situations. And there’s were yall come in. I need stories of real life situations or stories coming from teen girls and even adult woman. These stories will be placed in a presentation for our school’s self-esteem workshops. So please be free to send as much stories as you please to my e-mail,igirlpower09@aol.com please put your name age and the state where you live. I am trying to collect as much stories as I can. Please help us. You don’t have too put the state where you live if you don’t feel comfortable with it, though it would help. Please I need your help. Also if you want to suggest or comment me about any aspect, go ahead,
Thanks

[Self esteem]

I enjoyed reading this and totally agree. It's getting pretty scary.

[troubled teens]

Good informative article! it is one of the most considerable issues that the government should give more priority, and most importantly the parents should take care of their teens with immense responsibility. Parents should create a friendly environment to their teens. Parents need to identify any new type of new behavior with calmly discussing the things. Parents can get good detailed information on various teens issues through participating in any teens discussion boards.

http://www.troubledteensguide.com/parnetingquestions/low-Self-Esteem-and-Suicidal/index.html

[danielle waechter]

what about sex as a destructive behavior. no mention of that in your article. how about a girl who gets pregnant at 13, has the baby at 14 and her poor mother is strapped with all the bills. when the baby is 5 months old, this 14 year old girl is caught soliciting a man on the internet. is this also low self esteem?