Jim Liebelt's Youth Culture Watch

Teens Do Better With Parents Who Set Limits

An article from USA Today points out findings of various studies that demonstrate teens do better when they have parents who set and enforce boundaries.

Here's some good news for parents of tweens and teens: You rule.

That may be hard to believe sometimes. And it's true kids won't always follow your health and safety rules. But studies show parents who keep setting boundaries make a huge difference. In other words, "parenting works," even for teens, says Alanna Levine, a pediatrician in Tappan, N.Y., and spokeswoman for the American Academy of Pediatrics.

The latest example: a survey on media use by the Kaiser Family Foundation. It found that typical kids ages 8 to 18 spend an astounding 7 hours and 38 minutes a day consuming entertainment media, drinking deeply from the fire hose of TV, computers, game consoles, cellphones, music players and other devices (while occasionally glancing at books and other non-electronic media). Many experts, including the pediatrics academy, consider that much screen time bad for mental and physical health.

But the study also found that kids whose parents set any time or content limits were plugged in for three hours less each day. "Parents can have a big influence," says Kaiser researcher Vicky Rideout.

And it doesn't stop with screen time...

Source: USA Today
http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/painter/2010-02-08-yourhealth08_ST_N.htm

Never Spanking Kids Might Be Worse Than Spanking

New research called Portraits of American Life is underway, and it involves interviews of 2,600 people and their adolescent children every three years for the next 20 years. Dr. Marjorie Gunnoe is working with the first wave of data on the teens. It turns out that almost a quarter of these teens report they were never spanked. Gunnoe discovered a shocker in the data: those who’d been spanked just when they were young—ages 2 to 6—were doing a little better as teenagers than those who’d never been spanked. On almost every measure. A separate group of teens had been spanked until they were in elementary school. Their last spanking had been between the ages of 7 and 11. These teens didn’t turn out badly, either. Compared with the never-spanked, they were slightly worse off on negative outcomes, but a little better off on the good outcomes. Only the teenagers who were still being spanked clearly showed problems.

Source: Newsweek
http://blog.newsweek.com/blogs/nurtureshock/archive/2009/12/30/never-been-spanked.aspx

Teen Brain: Adult Reasoning Capacity, Emotional Maturity Not So Much

If you have or have had teens at home or work with them, there is absolutely no surprise in this new study's finding that their emotional maturity development lags behind their reasoning capacity.

From a physiological standpoint, this study seeks to provide more understanding into the developing teen brain. From a practical standpoint, quite simply teens are "rookie" adults. They need time, guidance, and experiences to help them move toward maturity. It's worthwhile to note that teens are prone to experimentation and making some poor choices along the way.

Parents can mitigate some of the negative consequences by equipping teens with decision making skills including helping them learn to evaluate outcomes of different choices, and by providing loving support, appropriate discipline, along with lots of patience and grace.

A 16-year-old might be quite capable of making an informed decision about whether to end a pregnancy – a decision likely to be made after due consideration and consultation with an adult – but this same adolescent may not possess the maturity to be held to adult levels of responsibility if she commits a violent crime, according to new research into adolescent psychological development.

"Adolescents likely possess the necessary intellectual skills to make informed choices about terminating a pregnancy but may lack the social and emotional maturity to control impulses, resist peer pressure and fully appreciate the riskiness of dangerous decisions," said Laurence Steinberg, PhD, a professor of developmental psychology at Temple University and lead author of the study. "This immaturity mitigates their criminal responsibility."

Steinberg and his co-authors address this seeming contradiction in a study showing that cognitive and emotional abilities mature at different rates.

The findings appear in the October issue of American Psychologist, published by the American Psychological Association.

Source: ScienceDaily
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/10/091007153745.htm

Parent or a Pal? Parents Are Conflicted

According to data from the 2007 Partnership Attitude Tracking Study (PATS), released by the Partnership for a Drug-Free America, some parents feel conflicted in parenting their teens because they value having a strong friendship with their child. Parents’ wish to be their child’s friend and their reluctance to set rules and limits for their kids increases dramatically during the middle school years.

PATS found 36 percent of parents with kids in grades 6th-8th agree “it is very important to me that my child consider me a friend” compared to 20 percent of parents with children in 4th-5th grades.

Parents of middle school kids (6th -8th grades) are more likely than parents of elementary school children (4th-5th grades) to agree that:

I have a hard time saying “no” to my child when he/she wants to do something or go somewhere I have doubts about (37 percent vs. 18 percent).

It’s hard to tell my child not to do something if all of his/her friends’ parents allow them to do it or if other parents approve (40 percent vs. 19 percent).

Source: Businesswire
http://www.businesswire.com/portal/site/google/?ndmViewId=news_view&newsId=20080611005251&newsLang=en

This is a difficult area for some parents. The desire to have a close relationship (friendship) with children as they grow older can become a more important priority than equipping them to become responsible adults. Yet, the latter is the larger priority. A parent's job is not to be their child's best friend. Adolescence is a season of life where kids need their parents to provide guidance, and consistent discipline to help them mature into responsible adulthood. This of course, can create tension between parents and kids. It's not uncommon for parents to feel "unliked' by their kids when they employ loving, steady-handed discipline with their teens. As much as this may make a parent feel uncomfortable, it's okay. As kids reach adulthood, they'll typically come around and the friendship relationship can grow.

Who Said Parenting Was Easy?

Sure, there have always been a kid here and there who has acted out dramatically, even violently, when their parents forbid them from doing something. But, this news item hits me because of the uniqueness made possible by today's culture (an all-to-common violent outburst by a teen, in this case over being banned from using the Internet).

Police: Teen Says He Killed Dad Over Internet Ban

A Mesa, AZ teenager says he fatally shot his father last month because he wouldn't let him use the Internet, police reports show.

According to a Mesa police report released Wednesday, 15-year-old Hughstan Schlicker told a homicide detective that he considered committing suicide in front of his father after finding a 12-gauge shotgun and ammunition in the garage of their home, but decided to murder his father instead and then commit suicide.

Hughstan apparently surprised 49-year-old Ted Schlicker, who was standing in the kitchen when the boy approached him from behind, the police report said.

Hughstan told detectives that he used the Internet to communicate with his friends and since his father took the Internet away, he was "just so depressed all the time," the report said.

Source: USA Today
http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2008-03-06-az-internet-killing_N.htm